Change Yourself to Change Your Dog - Page 2

Alec · #11 04-02-2010, 11:50 AM

Yikes, the grammar in that previous post was awful. That's what I get for quick posting at night. Oh well...

Thanks for sharing Sang. My dog is generally great with any other dog so long as we walk up to them or are off leash (she is crazy friendly though which is our biggest issue) but a lot of times when I can tell that the other people don't want to come close she will go into tough dog mode. For a long time (and sometimes even now) I would just assume there was something about how those people or dogs were carrying themselves but I really think it's more about me staying back away from them and creating the tension as every once in awhile the people will be cool and say hey and walk up with their dog, and then I will be more relaxed and it goes much smoother. I think I need to just press the greeting and go right up to them.

On the friendliness, I use Neil's redirection when there are kids out playing or the neighbor comes over to talk to her as she is super attracted and friendly. I will try to get her to lie down when they are close as well. Anybody have any thoughts on if this is the best approach? I hope that by continuing to work this way along with further maturation that we will get to the point where she will just chill when we meet new people.

Lee Charles Kelley · #12 04-02-2010, 02:24 PM

Kevin used to have an article in which he wrote that dogs do what's natural for them, they fetch our innermost feelings and then drop them at our feet (my words, not his).

Last week I was boarding a dog named Caleb, a Welsh springer who, if he doesn't get enough fetch time in the park, and you have to leave him alone, he'll "fetch" things out of your closet, or your garbage can, or off your coat rack. (The clients put up with this, and won't do the pushing exercise or anything else with him for fear it might change his personality.)

Now that he's older he never rips things up any more. He just has to grab hold of something that belongs to you and, I suppose, flip it around a little with his mouth in order to calm himself down and feel like he's accomplished something.

So, it was raining a lot during the time that Caleb was with me, and on rainy days our fetch time in the park was somewhat limited. And I also had to leave him alone last Saturday, knowing that I would probably find something of mine on the floor when I got home.

The funny thing is, earlier in the day, I had wondered where some of my old photographs were, then remembered I'd put them (and a number of other items that were possible hiding places for bedbugs) into black plastic garbage bags, double-wrapped, and had left them all in the closet. The bedbugs are gone (though you can never say for sure), but I didn't feel like taking the time to go through all those bags, find the photos, and re-wrap everything. So I even though I had a yearning to find those pictures, it wasn't strong enough to motivate me to look through all the bags, and I put it out of mind and forgot about it.

Then, when it was time for me to leave, I put all possible items of clothing that Caleb might want to grab and drag into the living room, on a high shelf, then left a few old socks lying on top of the hamper, thinking he'd be satisfied with dragging them around a little after I left.

When I came home, though, I found black plastic strewn everywhere. He'd gotten into the closet, where there were a half dozen garbage bags to choose from, and ripped one open and strewn its contents all the kitchen floor and living room carpet.

Initially, I was upset that he hadn't gone for the old socks. But as I looked at the "damage," I realized that Caleb had chosen the one garbage bag that I had been wanting to open; the one with all my photos in it. Not only that, but none of the photos were damaged. He'd just ripped open the garbage bag to "fetch" them for me, and left them lying in plain sight in the living room.

In other words, my unresolved emotion about those photos had triggered a feeling in Caleb that was directed specifically at the one object that I'd projected my emotions onto. My emotions triggered his "attack" on the garbage bag, and good little dog that he is, he "found" them for me.

Thanks, Caleb!

LCK

Sang · #13 04-02-2010, 09:47 PM

What a great story Lee!

Sang · #14 04-14-2010, 01:24 AM

I meant to share another one, along the lines of your story Lee, that happened to me a while back, but am just remembering to do so now.

So last year, my wife was laid off from her job. Let's just say it wasn't good for us financially. Before that we had never been very good at managing our finances, but it wasn't really too much of a problem because we were both working. But the fact that we had never gotten our finances under control was always an issue lurking under the surface.

Enter my dog Jackie. She had always been very good about leaving things alone when left alone in the house. We had stopped crating her when we would leave the house about 2 years ago, and she never touched anything. Until my wife lost her job. Then what started to happen? She started pulling out bills from our mail, and leaving them in the middle of the living room floor. They were never torn open or damaged. They were just placed right where I would see them. Now, the bills were never separated from the mail. There was a lot more junk mail than bills that she could have done this with. But it was never anything other than a bill. Not coupons, not magazines, not catalogs, not mailers, not letters, postcards or birthday cards. Always a bill. It was pretty amazing.

Now, if that wasn't cool enough, it gets even more interesting. Since then, we started crating her again. So what happens? Our other dog Delta has started pulling bills out of another pile. There are plenty of things she could chew on if she wanted. Hey, we live with 3 dogs so the house isn't exactly always in the best order.

But Delta always goes for the bills.

Yes, the finance issue is still unresolved, as my wife is still out of work, and we haven't figured everything out just yet, but are working on it. But when that started happening, I was just floored and amazed.

BrownieNJoyce · #15 04-14-2010, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lee Charles Kelley

Kevin used to have an article in which he wrote that dogs do what's natural for them, they fetch our innermost feelings and then drop them at our feet (my words, not his).

In other words, my unresolved emotion about those photos had triggered a feeling in Caleb that was directed specifically at the one object that I'd projected my emotions onto. My emotions triggered his "attack" on the garbage bag, and good little dog that he is, he "found" them for me. LCK

Your story helps me understand why my dog ripped a couple pair of my blue jeans (me not in them) in the first few days after we first got him. He was understandably anxious being in a new environment and after a 4-day road trip in a truck in a kennel with 20 other dogs. I left my jeans on the floor next to the bed out of laziness. They were a pair that were irritating me because they had a stain and one of the legs twists a bit cause the fabric was probably cut crooked. So I didn't care that he ripped them. I was glad actually. I cut off the ripped and stained part and the are perfect shorts.

I had another pair of jeans that were getting really faded and it was always on my mind that, although I can wear blue jeans to work (i'm on the floor with toddlers a lot), I was way overdue to get some that were a little nicer. Everytime I put my jeans on I felt irritated that I hadn't taken care of this yet. So the next time his anxiety and I had left some clothes out, he went for the jeans. Chewed one small hole right in the butt making them unwearable unless I patch them. Which I will do eventually.

Activities that make functioning in our lives easier such as having the right clothes for work, having the supplies we need, the basics of food on hand, reliable transportation etc. , my husband and I call "personal foundation" which comes from a friend who does some kind of personal/biz coaching. So I had been neglecting personal foundation and Brownie made me realize it. I hate to shop for pants, but it ended up being easy and he hasn't ripped anything since.

Cool stuff.

Heather · #16 04-14-2010, 09:14 AM

Those are pretty amazing things!

I have been sick for a couple of days, haven't been able to play with or walk Happy (not a bad thing, I think I needed to recharge) - yesterday he dragged his blanket and bone from his crate over next to the couch. I never lie on the couch with a blanket during the day, I guess he knew how the day was going to go!